What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What causes you to be tired all the time and major headaches?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

I am still studying engineering. I feel worried being an average student. Can I get a good job in placement, buy a house, and a car? I don't know why I feel this.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

J.K. Rowling said that 65% of people in Britain are transgender. Where did she come up with that statistic?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

In your opinion, what is the worst rock band in history and why do you think they gained a large following?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What do you mean son?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

How do you deal with neighbors who are always telling you what to do?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”